Coastal Daisy

Inside the mind of a total introvert

  • If I Could Bottle That I Could Probably Pay Someone to Get These Thoughts Down on Paper…..

    My daughter had a sleepover this weekend. The kind that revolves around the promise of a late night with a sugar hangover to mark the morning after. The kind filled with giggles over nothing, random acts of dancing, and moments of running around for no particular reason. We had one of those weekends where we stepped out of time, and totally enjoyed being in the moment. If I could bottle the feelings that take place in these little bits of life, they’d be priceless.

    As half of the parents of said children, we had all been navigating a ton of stress. (I’m not the only one looking for a job due to the economy right now, unfortunately.) As I look back on the past couple of days, I see why they were needed so much by the parents and children alike. We spend so much time focusing on the stressors of everyday life (understandably since we all have bills to pay) that we forget to actually stop and enjoy what that day might bring.

    We stay glued to the device in our hand that is constantly feeding us news that scares us, visual images that can make you feel inferior, and all the while real life is happening around you. As we were enjoying the last few days, none of that mattered. We as parents laughed, talked about our challenges, and gave ourselves permission to be ridiculous (which even earned us some eye rolls from the kids).

    It really has me thinking today, at what point in our life do we go from having those feelings of sleepovers, riding your bike with no hands eyes closed, laughing until your sides hurt, and jumping out of the swing, to going a whole day focused on what isn’t going right in this moment. How could we gain a little of that free spirit back to balance the heaviness that daily adulting can bring?

    I watched my daughter conquer a fear this weekend. She hates costumes…all costumes. I mean a sweaty palms at the sight of a Santa kind of fear, so she was in no way interested in trick or treating. Last minute, she decided she was going for it, and luckily friends had a spare Freddy costume. As a group we had so much fun taking them around, and I loved seeing her step out of her comfort zone. I kept thinking, if only we could bottle this moment for later.

    If only we could take out that shiny bottle when life feels too real, pop that cork, and wallow in all of those blissful feelings pouring over us while they cover all of the holes life can leave. If I could bottle that ( and put it on a shelf at Target) I could be on a whole other Kim K. level 🙂

    I challenge you today to take a moment. Take a moment to do something to remind yourself of those lighter days. Take 10 minutes to sit in the sun, walk barefoot in the grass, sit on a swing in the park, or even have Fruity Pebbles for dinner. Just do something that makes you happy, and reminds you of the freedom that should never be trapped in a bottle on the shelf. No matter how pretty the bottle.

  • What Do You Want To Be When you Grow Up? Plot Twist…I Still Don’t Know..I’m 47

    Remember your five year old self standing there on the first day of school? (Yeah, me neither, but let’s pretend we do for the sake of this article). You are gripping your new superhero lunchbox with everything you have, standing in freshly pressed clothes picked out just for the first day of school pics, and suddenly you’re asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

    At that moment my thoughts were running wild with everything BUT what I wanted to be in twenty years. I was more worried about the usual first day jitters. Will I get picked up? Who are these people? Why is that kid staring at me? Am I the only one with a lunchbox? Why is that kid crying? Should I be crying? Does he know something I don’t? (You get the idea- Introvert from day one).

    Then without warning this five year old beside me ( who obviously has been training for this question all summer) speaks up, “I want to be a nurse”! Then another shouts, ” I am going to be a fireman”! On and on it goes. I just wanted to be…… at home.

    Now don’t get me wrong. If you were one of those kids who knew what you wanted to be, achieved that goal, and are now you’re living your best life, good for you! Really, that amount of clarity and determination is commendable. I have envied that more than once in my life.

    I have been a Surgical Technologist, Medical/Clinical Assistant, Licensed Esthetician, Certified Medical Coder, and most recently a Health Coach (read previous lay-off article. Bare with me I’m not bitter, just still finding my footing :)) I have been all of these things without the five year old me even knowing what they were, and I’m happy.

    I had a conversation with my daughter today that sparked these thoughts. She said,” I don’t know for sure what I want to be when I grow up. It’s either going to be a doctor or a teacher.” I told her that it’s okay, you don’t have to decide right now (she’s 12). All I could think about was how creative, happy, free willed, and how bright the light is she carries. I don’t want her to decide right now and watch the ceiling suddenly appear limiting where her dreams can take her.

    There is room in this world for everyone. The teacher, the doctor, the lawyer, the dancer, the artist, and the dreamer. My five year old self didn’t know about creative passion, stress, limitations, or the fears of “what ifs”. She was a quiet dreamer who would rather play pretend instead of worrying about the future. Life has changed my path more than once, but that dreamer still lives in my soul and I’m spending more time with her recently. (I’m going to pause right here and let you know that I’m looking for a job, and just dreaming on the side. I mean we all know the bills have to be paid.) 🙂

    I challenge you today to tap back into what you once dreamed of before the world brought its fears to your feet, before the glass ceilings were built so neatly over your true potential. What did your five or even twenty-five year old self dream of before the world was telling you that you had to decide? What brings a feeling of passion to your heart? What would your five year old self be proud of if you were able to go back and say to them, “It’s all going to work out. It may not be the path we planned, but the lessons you learn along the way are going to be worth it.”

    Dreaming on the coast with my girl ❤

    .

  • Under the Influence….

    Do we even know what we want anymore? Sometimes it feels like there is a little personal assistant sitting right in the palm of your hand telling you exactly what you need to eat, what cosmetics to use, what t-shirts will fit the man in your life best, what pillow you should sleep on, what diet you should follow, etc. It feels that way because there is (you may be reading on it right now, but don’t stop). We are bombarded everyday with ads, influencers, and even the guy down the street telling you what you need in your life.

    I remember this being the same my whole life. Of course, not on the scale that it is now, but still in a way that suited the times. Those groggy Saturday mornings I would crawl out of bed to watch cartoons (on one of the three channels we had at the time) there they were. The commercials that told me what cereal I should be eating, the toy I had to have next, and even the shoes that would make me run the fastest. Trust me, those shoes never worked, there was always a new brand of cereal, and I lost interest in every toy like the one before.

    We’ve been told our whole lives how we should eat, dress, what we should drive, how we should look, and don’t even get me started on the contour (don’t get me wrong-I’ve seen the magic happen). We just live in a society where the standards seem to be set straight out of the womb.

    I see and hear so much now about people taking the time to “find” themselves. Could this be where the loss of self starts? Did our parents have it right when they encouraged us to “try one bite, you might like it”?

    I challenge you to find your likes without clicking on a “like” button. Try the shirt on that no one else is wearing, wear the shoes that actually feel good on your feet, sleep in that frayed shirt from an old concert (because it reminds you of how much you danced). Stop letting the world tell you who YOU are.

    There is only one YOU! Take the time to eat, dress, dance, and contour how you like. Just don’t do it while being “under the influence”.

    The view that inspires these keystrokes
    ,

  • When Life Decides What’s Best…I Wasn’t Ready

    It started with a Zoom call. Not the planned out “Hey, I can grab lunch or a quick walk during this call” kind. No, this was the kind that pops up on your calendar with no warning. The kind that immediately makes you think your sudden irregular heartbeat might warrant a Cardiology visit. The kind that makes you realize you may have a bit of PTSD from the last unexpected meeting like this when so many of your co-workers were encouraged to find work elsewhere. The kind that makes you jump on Indeed for those “elsewhere” options. In a way I already knew what was coming. Hundreds of us were let go with no time to say goodbye or even wrap our head around the fact that our computer access was suddenly cut off.

    I had a job I loved! I had a job that allowed me to be on standby for my homeschooled daughter if she needed me. I had a job that allowed me to work anywhere my family needed me for that matter. My computer went to the hospital when my Mom was sick. It went outside when I needed to thaw myself out from keeping my house too cold (you know hormones can wreak havoc). My computer went into my car when that needed to be my office while traveling. You see, I didn’t take those sick days. I was dedicated, and would have felt guilty calling in sick, to a job that gave me a permanent sick day with no warning.

    That’s just one example of many I have experienced when life has other plans. One minute you are standing at the top of the mountain enjoying the crisp clean air, the chirping birds, the sun warming you all the way to your soul, and the next you are landing bottom first in the valley. The kind of landing that makes you wish you didn’t live life in thin yoga pants. The same pants that you wore working from home, because your days of office dress were over.

    Life doesn’t ask for your approval before changing your path. It hands you your next path without a warning notice, and with total disregard of your feelings. Wouldn’t it be nice if life gave you an alert? You know the kind of alert like we get on the SC coast before bad weather. The kind with the ear splitting alarm that suddenly goes off on every phone around you at once. Alert! Alert! Something is about to change! The kind that allows you to shutter your house, move things to prevent flying debris, stock up on food (instead of buying all those goodies on your last Target run), and light some candles.

    What I’m saying is take the sick days, take the vacation days, take the mental health days. Life doesn’t stop to check on you before the next phase of your life begins. You have to show up for yourself when you are standing on the mountain, because the valley is waiting. Just remember when you are in the valley, another mountain is in the distance waiting on you to reach the top and claim that next deep breath. Dust off your pants when you land on your bottom. Don’t sit there and wait on the world to notice and offer a hand. The rest of the world is too busy on their own hike. No one is immune to challenges, but you can start climbing your next mountain before anyone notices.

    , , , , ,